well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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