I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
