He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
