My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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