He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
