If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize