i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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