i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize