I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
