Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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