Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
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Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
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I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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