I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
