Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
