wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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