You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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