mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
