The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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