So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize