i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
soo... how was my night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
