Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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