I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We were destined to go to rehab together
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
