I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
