Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
