yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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