bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
