things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just jacked off to nostalgia.