Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

No, it just says ur easy

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(954): Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead? (787): No, it just says ur easy http://tfl.nu/6cbn

Replies (22) Good night (1031) Bad night (1657)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A better fuck for starters.

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(610): He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him? (484): A better fuck for starters. http://tfl.nu/qmis

Replies (34) Good night (747) Bad night (3243)
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(917): View more from New York City

Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.

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(917): Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick. http://tfl.nu/czw4

Replies (26) Good night (3511) Bad night (769)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.

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(816): I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches. http://tfl.nu/de5z

Replies (16) Good night (680) Bad night (3868)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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(856): So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished. http://tfl.nu/vhfi

Replies (4) Good night (3531) Bad night (863)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .

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(250): woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" . http://tfl.nu/721o

Replies (9) Good night (6480) Bad night (1147)
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(972): View more from Texas

The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

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(972): The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way http://tfl.nu/ldbl

Replies (22) Good night (5208) Bad night (1494)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

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(704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux

Replies (14) Good night (5376) Bad night (1051)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.

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(405): I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed. http://tfl.nu/abj9

Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (4717)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.

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(+61): You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd. http://tfl.nu/nwi3

Replies (16) Good night (4884) Bad night (921)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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(484): I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive. http://tfl.nu/gosk

Replies (4) Good night (4349) Bad night (663)
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(954): View more from Florida

I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!

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(954): I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR! http://tfl.nu/8pod

Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (228)
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(630): View more from Illinois

sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life

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(630): sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life http://tfl.nu/q2m2

Replies (4) Good night (233) Bad night (601)
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(206): View more from Washington

steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.

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(206): steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/2ixz

Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (203)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.

(716): View more from New York

The apple don't fall far from that tree.

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(704): My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator. (716): The apple don't fall far from that tree. http://tfl.nu/rljy

Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (245)

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