We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
