There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
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Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.