you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?