Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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