i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
