Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.