Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you still trying to smash that chick?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): you still trying to smash that chick? (1-248): it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober http://tfl.nu/22ty
  Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"? http://tfl.nu/trim
  Replies (60) Good night (3317) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/312f
  Replies (43) Good night (6124) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl. http://tfl.nu/b8qp
  Replies (35) Good night (11944) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick http://tfl.nu/rn55
  Replies (5) Good night (5720) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom. http://tfl.nu/aix7
  Replies (48) Good night (6569) Bad night (1999)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them. http://tfl.nu/dcim
  Replies (4) Good night (3589) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms. http://tfl.nu/g9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2626) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe? http://tfl.nu/3oc2
  Replies (10) Good night (2485) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu
  Replies (15) Good night (2138) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina. http://tfl.nu/fp84
  Replies (21) Good night (2023) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day. http://tfl.nu/dztj
  Replies (3) Good night (1044) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart (416): That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you. http://tfl.nu/90qz
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning" http://tfl.nu/rbo4
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone. http://tfl.nu/i4rk
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (504)

Randomize