Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
