but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
