I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize