Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
