if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
420 ftw
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Randomize
