my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
