apparently the secret to your success is patron
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
