Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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