Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
