what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
