The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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