Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
