Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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