Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
