zippers are such a cool invention
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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