The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize