well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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