i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
