Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
