why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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