Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
