tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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