There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Your cock deserves a montage
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten