in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?