its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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