it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing