apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
