Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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