Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
