It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
