We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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