margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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