She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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