Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He better not be in your backpack
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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