I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
