My liver just broke up with me...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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