Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
