You're completely useless in the revolution.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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