Sry I called you an 8
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize