i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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