Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
