imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
