Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
