the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
