What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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